Just a zombie-lovin' musician originally from rural West Virginia and now living in the Cleveland, OH area. You can check out my music page at www.myspace.com/joelandes if you like.
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Something I wrote a while ago which may or may not be useful -

Ladies and gentlemen, as I may or may not have mentioned before, there is a very real threat to humanity. This threat is none other than the zombie plague that is currently being covered up. "They" don't want you to know about it.

I do.

And I want you to live.

And so does Max Brooks, because he wrote that book called "The Zombie Survival Guide" that everyone in the universe should read.

Here is a photograph of me looking like a criminal with some numbers and lines and things that will help you arm yourself for the impending zombie invasion (THEY CAN ONLY BE CONTAINED FOR SO LONG):


1.) Head Protection/Hair Length
In the photo, I'm wearing what I call a toboggan. Some people tell me that a toboggan is a sled or something. I have always been told that it is a cap you put on your head in the winter to keep warm.

In terms of zombie protection, a cap or other hair-confining device keeps your head safe from being suddenly grabbed while on the run. It's vital to maintain a very close haircut, one that sports hair which can't be easily grasped by zombie hands.

Ideal head protection would be a chainmail coif, which also provides neck protection, but you must improvise if you are unable to properly prepare.


2.) Body Protection

I've chosen a leather jacket, which is one of the best bite-resistant garments out there (aside, of course, from actual chainmail and/or plate armor). If you do not possess a leather jacket, then at least wear a coat or other thick, long-sleeved garment. You need something that'll withstand the jaws of the undead. Remember - one infectious bite and it's all over. Choose wisely.


3.) Weapon

As you can see, I've picked the sturdy crowbar as my weapon. Not only is it great for bashing/penetrating zombie skulls, but it will also provide a means to break into locked buildings and perform other necessary actions during times of need.

Another great choice is a baseball bat.

I recommend firearms only if you are trained and experienced. The average fellow or fellowess will not be accurate or skilled enough to properly use the weapon and will more than likely waste valuable ammunition.


4.) Gloves

Gloves provide protection not only from the elements but also from those deadly undead bites. Be warned, though, that gloves reduce your sensitivity and you won't be able to dig into your pockets or your pack as effectively while wearing them.


5.) Leg Protection

I've gone with jeans, and they are probably the best choice (not to mention that nearly everyone has a pair). They're tough, durable, and yet flexible for running, climbing, and other deeds you may need to perform when on the run from the undead. If possible, wear a second pair of pants (thermals, for example) underneath for added protection.


6.) Foot Protection

The ideal choice: steel-toed weather-proof boots with padded socks for added comfort. The steel toe is negotiable (mine aren't), but the weather-proofing is critical, as you can never predict the climate during which the undead will attack. Be sure to keep laces TIED to prevent tripping.


As a general rule for all clothing, be sure that you have nothing loose or dangling. Strings, baggy clothes, etc. can all spell certain doom if those undead hands happen to get a grip on them.

And remember - always aim for the head.