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Howdy, if your reading this then you must be bored, or drunk and confused that this is not pornhub.com. Anyway welcome to my profile page, feel free to look about, but don't expect too much seriousness.
Here is the story, working progress, that I'm submitting for the 2010 fiction contest. Now debunked, but still a good read, of course I am bias.
I hope you enjoy it, it's a medieval zombie tale that takes place in a world that I invented for another story back in 2006.
About Me:When I started thinking way too much about zombies: November 3, 2007, 10:53 est. The night i started to develop an unhealthy attraction toward Larry King.
What started my zombie fixation: Goddess Bunny, seriously youtube that ****. It for a lack of a better word will disturb you.
Favorite zombie book: George RR Martin's Song of Ice and Fire series. The "Others" in those books are awesome.
Favorite zombie movie: Come on people: Fido
Favorite quote in any zombie movie: Its that one part were the indie movie chick asks the guy that died in Harry Potter if he's a vampire.
My Survival Plan:My “handle” should you look for you on the radio waves or web: ChunkyLover6969
My location:Northern hemisphere
Is my plan dependent on zombies in your home town, or anywhere?Make no mistake, when the Zeds start coming they will be everywhere.
Will I be staying in my home or headed somewhere else? How the hell should I know,,, I guess I'll play it by ear.
If I'm heading out, how do I plan to get there? Well, I'll teleport. If teleportation is not invented by then I guess I'll have to take the bus.
Got anyone I want to take with me? Now "anyone" is a broad statement. If I can take anyone it's going to be porn star Sasha Grey. She is the right combo of filthy slut, and dirty wh,ore.
How will I communicate with the outside world, or do I plan to go the hermit route? Hermit route all the way. I love Jim Henson.
How am I planning to get food and water? Beer, best of both worlds
What’s my weapon of choice? Do you need to reload that thing? Gotta plan for that? My mossberg pump action shot gun loaded with 00 buck shot, and my springfield XDm 9mm as a back up.
Got a survival philosophy? Yeah, better you then me.
Am I willing to hook up with other survivors? What do you mean hook up, like humping? Do you really think there is going to be time for that when the dark masses of the drooling dead are trying to eat your skin.
Is my plan based on a book/movie/blog/scientist other survivors may have heard of? Yes it is, it's called chicken soup for the Z day survivor soul.
First, every good plan should at its core be simple. The more details you chalk onto the cuffs of a plan the more often something is going to blow up in your face. In some cases literally. That being said I think for starters I would lay low, find a defense-able spot outside of the higher populated regions of the area I live in (suburbs of Portland, Or), and set up for a week. This theoretical hub of survival I would fill most importantly with as much clean water as I could possibly come by. Anybody that knows anything about survival will tell you that the first thing a person needs to make it through a disaster is drinkable water. Next non-perishable food stuffs. I actually think that raiding a few abandoned rural homes with a friend or two would be my best bet. Now, I know what your saying "What about personal defense" well for the first eighteen years of my life I grew up on a little farm house in Southern Oregon: pigs, horses, chickens, marij... tomatoe garden, and such. But most importantly on this farm house I grew up hunting for meat, and when hunting everything from elk to doves one becomes familiar with firearms (and in my case bows). So I've come to love tools of death, and being the idiot that I am I bought into that whole hiking up the price of ammo propaganda that came about in 2008, I've packed my closet with a ample supply of metallic cartridges. Lets just say I'm not going to run out of 00 buck shot until roughly the time that Hailey's Comet comes back around.
Okay where were we? I hate @$$holes that digress all the time. Anyhow, after a week I would try and take a small party north toward Canada. This small but close knit caravan would consist of mostly tow trucks, gotta get the abandoned vehicles out of the freeway with something, and from there,,,,, well I haven't really got that far yet. Maybe one of you fine folks will be in the British Columbia area and make my life a whole lot easier.
#1 Remington/Springfield 1903 A3 30-06
#2 Winchester Model 100 .308 win
#3 Savage 110 7mm rem mag
#4 Savage 110 .270 win
#4 Savage Model 93 hmr .17
Not pictures Ruger 10/22 & Vortex .50 cal muzzle loader, Norinco SKS.
12 gauge Shotguns
#1 Mossberg/Maverick 88
#2 Winchester Model 12
(gave as a gift to my sister)
#3 Winchester Model 97
#1 Uberti .45 Colt 1873 peacemaker
#2 Springfield XDm 9mm
#3 Ruger Mark II .22 Lr
#4 Rossi Model 68 .38 spl
Not pictured Kahr cw 9, S&W model 10 snubby, and Pietta 1858 Reminton .44 cal cap n' ball.
#1 Home made sickle axe with a stained madrone handle
#2 Home made spear with a stained madrone shaft
#3 Iberia carbon steel 15th century style mercenary sword
#4 Generation 2 carbon steel black prince sword
#5 Windlass Steelcrafts carbon steel coustille sword
Latest page update: Jul 24 2012, 2:27 PM EDT