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LJ126's Review of the Timberhammer
The coolest homemade anti-zombie weapon ever... the Timberhammer!
A few months back, site veteran and fellow staff member Timberrattler asked if Maricely and I would be interested in testing out a few of his Timberhammers for the site - and how could we turn him down? Of course we're gonna check 'em out!
I'll be honest, I've had a lot of difficulty finding an adequate target to test these hammers, so this review is unfortunately very preliminary. As time goes on and resources become available for us to find suitable testing media, this review will become more complete. I want to give these hammers a fair shake, and a thorough test is required to hammer out the details!
INITIAL IMPRESSIONS - Simple, Tough, Brutal
Guys, make no mistake, these hammers are 
nothing short of absolutely terrifying, and I have no doubt that if a soft target (such as a zombie skull) were struck by one that the results would be devastating. These pictures simply do not convey the weight and potency of the Timberhammers; note their size in comparison to a full-size Ka-Bar (12" long) and a Windlass Gurkha Kukri (17" from pommel to point), both placed in frame to show the size of these monsters. Each hammer's total length is close to about 21" and the estimated weight of the hammers is 3 1/2 and 4 pounds, the green "prototype" being the heavier as it is made with 1/4" thicker piping. I do not have access to a scale, but in the future will provide more detailed results.
nothing short of absolutely terrifying, and I have no doubt that if a soft target (such as a zombie skull) were struck by one that the results would be devastating. These pictures simply do not convey the weight and potency of the Timberhammers; note their size in comparison to a full-size Ka-Bar (12" long) and a Windlass Gurkha Kukri (17" from pommel to point), both placed in frame to show the size of these monsters. Each hammer's total length is close to about 21" and the estimated weight of the hammers is 3 1/2 and 4 pounds, the green "prototype" being the heavier as it is made with 1/4" thicker piping. I do not have access to a scale, but in the future will provide more detailed results.Despite being very similar in both length and weight, it is my personal opinion that they are intrinsically very different weapons because of the diameter piping used in each. The tan "Mk. II" Timberhammer is very easily gripped and swung with one hand because you can easily hold onto it, making it an ideal backup weapon. The green prototype, well, different story; it's a two-handed weapon. I don't have gigantic hands (and if you do, your opinion may differ) and I would be reluctant to swing it without a two-handed grip or without wearing gloves - ideally, it would be swung with both and undoubtedly to devastating effect. Given that the prototype was originally built to Timberrattler's specifications, I'm assuming he has longer fingers that I do, as I cannot completely close my hand around the handle of it.
Despite the very "fat" grip, I have done some preliminary smashing, though the target was hardly suitable...
TEST ONE: Kindle Smash!
Right around the same time the Timberhammer's arrived, Maricely purchased us each a Kindle 4 for Christmas. Mine lasted about a week before I accidentally broke it whilst climbing into bed. Apparently, Kindle screens aren't designed to have the body weight of an adult male pressed down atop it, even if a fairly thick comforter is placed atop it, obscuring it from view. After purchasing a replacement, I decided to make an example out of the first one because Best Buy refused to swap it out, citing "abuse." I'll show them abuse!
 That's the guts of a Kindle |  Note the still frozen screen. |
The Timberhammer was checked for integrity by making sure each component was tightly screwed into place. The Kindle was placed on top of the piece of scrap wood, and was struck once with a moderate two-handing downward swing. As you can tell, the hammer penetrated effortlessly through the entirety of the Kindle, leaving a considerable dimple into the lumber below. Had the entire length of wood not been supported by the great state of Texas, I'm sure that it would have split into several pieces. After being punctured, the Kindle began to heat rapidly, so it was placed in a safe place to cool. On a side note, I've learned my lesson and invested into a well-padded case for my Kindle, and I do not leave it laying on the bed!
More to come - stay tuned!
LJ126 |
Latest page update: made by LJ126
, Jan 3 2012, 7:14 PM EST
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