[Phil and Stan are at a packed New York City pub. Everyone in town is either in there or out in the parking lot--with speakers and TV screens of course--attending one of a kind event, an event that you almost never see these days: storytelling. They were telling a war story, one of the darkest days of humanity. There were more than just a couple news crews pointing tape recorders, mics, and cameras at them.]

[chuckling] "Man, I must be the unluckiest guy in the whole world. That day, probably my unluckiest day ever, my girlfriend broke up with me, my car got towed, the power in my house went out, I got an eviction notice, and I witnessed a murder. I REALLY thought that that day could not get any worse. I mean, zombies? Walking goddamn corpses that have no other purpose than ripping out your guts and stuffing it down their throats? Who in the FUCKING WORLD could've seen that one coming? Well maybe Dungeons & Dragons Dungeonmasters, but they don't count. [Laughter] It was right in front of my fucking face and I STILL didn't see it coming. If I only got my head outta my ass long enough for me to see what was really happening, maybe, just MAYBE, I might've had a chance of surviving. Really, if I was on my own, I probably would've turned into one of them on the first day. It was pretty much Stan and Ethan that kept me alive."

"Aw, c'mon Phil, you give yourself too little credit. You know, he's had more than his share of pulling people out of burning buildings, zombie hordes, and exploding vehicles.

"Oh, yeah, like I've ever taken on a horde of fifty all by my lonesome self. Let me explain who I am to you guys. My name is Phillip Campbell. I'm 24 years old, still in college. I was studying to become a doctor. I found Consta-"

[Constantine--uh, I mean Stan--quickly cuts off Philip]

"STAN! He means Stan. My name is Stan, just Stan," said the kid next to him.

"No it's Constantine, tell them the truth."

"Yeah but it has nothing to do with the invasion! I hate that name, Phil! You know that better than anyone else."

"Ok, ok, don't get your panties in a wad."

[to us]

"I don't know why he hates that name. It's really a cool name. It's like, ancient Greek or Roman or something."

[Stan gives Philip an cold stare]

"And he gives me the trademarked icy glare. Anyways, I found him when I was like, nineteen. He was just there, in a dark corner in the rain, alone, kinda like in your stereotype movie script. Actually, it's not far from here. I think it's a couple blocks over that way."

[Philip motions with his hands.]

"Anyways..."