The main Weapons and Gear page was getting way to big. So big that some stuff people where putting on it was getting erased. Below are the 3 other categories that where on the main page. This was mainly to save space. Hope this doesn't cause any inconvenience.



Melee Weapons of Choice

No one wants to wants to lose their cherry when it comes to rough zombie lovin'. And while we know that when forced into combat (or by choice - professional zombie hunters, thrill seekers, etc.) the best way to keep your virginity is through the use of firearms - rifles when the situation permits and handguns when necessary. But we should all be prepared for Zeke to get the drop on us sooner or later.

Fortunately, melee weapons are everywhere these days. Nary a week goes by that I don't get a catalog from a mail order knife company. But what best to choose? Well, that depends on your needs. The main goal is, without doubt, the destruction of the head/brain of your attacker. And there are fine choices at your disposal to accomplish this. However, sometimes you might want to test the waters with your foe. Maybe you want to experiment. Maybe there are more than one greyback closing in and you don't have the luxury for a protracted engagement. Maybe you just have some rage to get out and what better way than pound on the undead for a bit. We'll discuss all of these, but keep in mind that your survival is paramount, so don't lose sight of a definitive kill.

So it's you and him/her - one-on-one. You've got room, you saw it coming, you have the advantage. *Before we get too far gone, let's keep to weapons that we actually have a chance of finding. Sure, a medieval polearm or Japanese no-dachi sounds great, but seriously... not to mention the fact that ownership does not imply aptitude.* Do you go for a clubbing attack? As zombies don't feel pain nor fear, what do you really gain from a few popped ribs? Ah, but let's think a moment. These fiends are dead. That means that the biological processes have slowed and in some cases, stopped. What about blood production? This would stop as necrosis takes hold, so a zombie's bone marrow will be drying out as it is no longer being used. Weak marrow makes weak bones. So when dealing with a date that just won't take 'no' for an answer, take into account the age and condition of the corpse. One good swing from a bat, 2 x 4, pipe, or any other sturdy club might be enough to bring down an aggressor. But also bear in mind that points of interest such as the skull and spine would only be weakened so much from the natural decay process. But in a pinch, depending on your situation, it may be enough to destroy an arm or leg to give you a chance to escape.

Sad thought it may be, most of us reading this either own one or more swords or we know people who do. But before you go out playing Highlander, use the brains that those zombies can't seem to get enough of. Most swords made these days are of the decorative variety. Something you pick up at the renaissance faire or some Lord of the Rings replica is made to look nice hanging on a wall. These pieces are not properly tempered, forged, nor constructed for actual use. If it's all you have, it's all you have, but don't count on it lasting more than a few swings. Some companies do make battle ready weapons, and these would be ideal for use. Go for a decapitation and go home happy, but since we don't fully know how the zombie's body sends or receives signals to and from the brain, we can't count on an instant victory. The head or the body or both may continue to act independently of each other, at least for a little while. Goodie for us that a headless body can't bite and a bodyless head can't chase. Though again, infection might take place from any kind of fluid transfer (not that kind, perverts) so don't take chances around a headless body who might still claw or scratch you, thus possibly infecting you. Trial and error should give us a better idea of exposure methods in the future, but I don't really want to be in the 'error' category, do you?

What about any other kind of bladed weapon? If you have time to keep a blade sharp and you have a blade that you trust your life with, knock yourself out. The typical swing-for-the-fences weapon here is the machete. Just remember that the metal is fairly thin and thus bendable, and a machete you just picked up won't have the edge needed to go through the bones in a zombie's neck in one swing. Assassins can take a good pointed blade, poke you behind the ear, scramble your eggs, and you're out of the fight. We can infer that the same would apply to a zombie - to a point. Always remembering that they feel no pain, you would have to be quick and thorough to ensure you take out whatever a zombie has in his coconut that makes him go before he turns and tastes your cupcake. Knives should be used only as a last resort, but if you're grappling with a zombie, isn't 'last resort' implied? I have mentioned elsewhere the advantages of the Nepalese kukri. It's a long, thick, curved blade that the regimental army in Nepal has had great success with in the past. The blade almost looks like a boomerang curving away from the user, and that curve gives it tremendous cutting power. These weapons can sever heads as well as arms and legs in one swing when used and maintained properly. You can find modern models as well as historical versions online or in weapon catalogs. Make sure to keep your blades razor sharp. There's no such thing as downtime when the zombies come, so use your time to maintain your weapons.

Let the other guy try this one, but hear me out... A zombie is a re-animated human body walking around trying to eat you. For the body to move, it has to have a system of internal electrical impulses urging it onward. So why wouldn't we be able to taser a zombie to disrupt those electrical impulses? It won't kill it, but it can give you an opening to cave in the skull with your cable box or just get away if you need to. Taser, stun baton, cattle prod - whatever. Just make sure you've got good batteries installed, or my my, won't your face be red...

We've just scratched the surface here. There are countless other implements of zombie destruction in every home in the world. From exotics like flails, scythes, and maces - to the everyday like axes, shovels, and chainsaws - sending a zombie roughly into that good night is something we should all be comfortable with. Something else to keep in mind... as the living, we are the zombie's superior. There seems to be some misconception about the sense and instinct that come from being undead. Zombies don't gain animal-like instinct or superhuman senses. These are the decomposing leftovers of another zombie. All senses, reflexes, and motor skills are dulled in the undead. Don't give them more credit than they deserve. They see, smell, and hear just like anyone else does, but worse. Keep your wits and don't let them boss you around.

This is a battle that the living can win... will you be ready?