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| Started By | Thread Subject | Replies | Last Post | ||||
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| legomansam3 | amazing | 0 | Nov 18 2011, 10:57 PM EST by legomansam3 | ||||
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Thread started: Nov 18 2011, 10:57 PM EST
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i liked this stroy a lot! i think u should make sequal! i really think u wrote it well.
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| jdfcanada | Nice story | 0 | Sep 12 2010, 1:15 PM EDT by jdfcanada | ||||
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Thread started: Sep 12 2010, 1:15 PM EDT
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It's interesting that you chose to write it entirely in narrative fashion. Normally, critics tell authors to show us, not tell us, but you did a fairly good job anyways.
If you wanted to flesh it out and make it longer, I would add in dialogue. |
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| conor78 | good story | 0 | Nov 8 2009, 12:33 AM EST by conor78 | ||||
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Thread started: Nov 8 2009, 12:33 AM EST
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wow well written
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| Ventanator | Nice Story | 0 | Jul 3 2008, 8:33 PM EDT by Ventanator | ||||
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Thread started: Jul 3 2008, 8:33 PM EDT
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Nice story man. Real kudos there.
The only bad thing I have to say is that it sorta lacks emotion. It does sorta fit though; it sounds just like a journal should I guess. Anyway, nice story. |
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| whtwlf | Character Development | 3 | Jul 3 2008, 6:19 PM EDT by cjoatey | ||||
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Thread started: Apr 7 2008, 9:06 PM EDT
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The story is pretty well written. One thing the main character seems to be missing however, is any emotional concerns. Most people in his shoes would be constantly worrying about their family. His home seems more like a destination then something he is desperate to get to. He also seems to never be emotionally phased by the horrors around him like the man being eaten and screaming for five straight minutes. Now on to the good points of your story. It's very well structured and actually follows a logical progression rather than rambling on about pointless details. It doesn't seem to have any grammatical or spelling errors. I'm looking forward to whatever you add next.
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