Location: Zombie Uprising, Report For Major Dunn

Discussion: Character DevelopmentReported This is a featured thread

Category: Discussion Forum / General Discussion
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whtwlf
whtwlf
Character Development
Apr 7 2008, 9:06 PM EDT | Post edited: Apr 7 2008, 9:06 PM EDT
The story is pretty well written. One thing the main character seems to be missing however, is any emotional concerns. Most people in his shoes would be constantly worrying about their family. His home seems more like a destination then something he is desperate to get to. He also seems to never be emotionally phased by the horrors around him like the man being eaten and screaming for five straight minutes. Now on to the good points of your story. It's very well structured and actually follows a logical progression rather than rambling on about pointless details. It doesn't seem to have any grammatical or spelling errors. I'm looking forward to whatever you add next. 3  out of 3 found this valuable. Do you?    
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Tuck-Duck&Roll
Tuck-Duck&Roll
1. RE: Character Development
Apr 11 2008, 5:47 PM EDT | Post edited: Apr 11 2008, 5:47 PM EDT
Thanks for the honest feedback. I wrote this over a couple days, it's my first attempt at writting a story. I'll do a re-write and buff it up a notch or two. Do you find this valuable?    
whtwlf
whtwlf
2. RE: Character Development
Apr 17 2008, 3:52 AM EDT | Post edited: Apr 17 2008, 3:52 AM EDT
As I said, you write very well. All you have to do is fine tune your story. Do you find this valuable?    
cjoatey
cjoatey
3. RE: Character Development
Jul 3 2008, 6:19 PM EDT | Post edited: Jul 3 2008, 6:19 PM EDT
I really like your story and your writing style! I can't wait to read more!! Do you find this valuable?