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Location: Old Community Story: Part 6
Discussion: a recap so far of page 6(so no one gets confused)
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lordreven6 |
a recap so far of page 6(so no one gets confused)
Jun 21 2009, 6:24 PM EDT
toms group of 40 gets ambushed by a group of soldiers. however since both sides lack heavy weapons the intial death count is low. after some fighting in the woods in which some more people die, and others go missing, toms group takes cover in a ditch. many U.S. soldiers die, but they still outnumber toms group so about 10 stay behind while the rest retreat. the 10 are then captured by a quick acting irish speaking us soldier(backstory to come). after about a week toms group makes it to a farmhouse with all the commanders(except olli) and all the living suvivours that harry has met.(some backstory issues here that may need to be fixed, like what about frank and them) olli though has just recently made it to PBA outskirts with the tanks and heavy guns and the rest of the army. he talks to Tom about planning to attack then bomb PBA base. 3 missing soldiers then pop up, with 1 of them being sarah. except with the fact the transition between part 5 and 6 has some open holes its pretty much all good. Do you find this valuable?
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lordreven6 |
1. note to hitman
Jun 21 2009, 6:29 PM EDT
We were ambushed by US forces about two to three hours out by foot,” I stated as Freya entered the room, “We have about ten KIA and another twenty MIA, possibly captured.” that should only total about 20 men, since thats how many matt said were gone out of the origanal 40 member group. so to keep out errors, 7 KIA and 13 MIA(the 3 of Olearys men, and the 10 captured men in the ditch) would be a good statement. Do you find this valuable? |
John_234 |
2. Less of an eye sore.
Jun 21 2009, 6:40 PM EDT
| Post edited: Jun 21 2009, 6:57 PM EDT
Tom's group, numbering forty or so, is ambushed by a group of soldiers. Since both sides lack heavy weaponry, the initial casualties aren't too high on either side. Eventually, Tom's group hides in a ditch. Many of the soldiers fall, but they still greatly outnumber Tom's group. Several men stay behind to hold off the military forces while the rest of the group retreats. They are eventually captured by an Irish speaking soldier. A week later, Tom and his group makes it to a farmhouse with all the commanders(except Olli) and all the living survivors that Harry has met. (some backstory issues here that may need to be fixed, like background on Frank and what happens to him) The army, with armor and heavy weapons, makes it to the outskirts of the PBA. Among the men are Olli, who talks to Tom about planning to attackPBA base. Later, several soldiers appear, one of them being Sarah. Aside from plot holes in the transition between part 5 and 6, it isn't too bad. EDIT: corrected misunderstanding. Do you find this valuable? |
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John_234 |
3. RE: Less of an eye sore.
Jun 21 2009, 6:41 PM EDT
Just for clarification, why did the soldiers retreat if they outnumbered Tom's men?
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lordreven6 |
4. RE: Less of an eye sore.
Jun 21 2009, 6:53 PM EDT
no, because it was a bit of an eyesore you probably got confused. it says "many U.S. soldiers die, but they still outnumber toms group so about 10 stay behind while the rest retreat." that means even though a lot of US Military die, they still outnumber toms group, so 10 of toms group stays behind while the rest of toms group retreats. Do you find this valuable? |
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John_234 |
5. RE: Less of an eye sore.
Jun 21 2009, 6:55 PM EDT
"no, because it was a bit of an eyesore you probably got confused.Ah, I see. Do you find this valuable? |
IrishHitman |
6. RE: note to hitman
Jun 21 2009, 8:38 PM EDT
"We were ambushed by US forces about two to three hours out by foot,” I stated as Freya entered the room, “We have about ten KIA and another twenty MIA, possibly captured.”Tom has circled the base to find a way in, hence the week's travelling. I intended to explain that in the next part. As for the forty man thing, it says about forty, not exactly forty. Nor is entirely inconceivable that Harry got it precisely right.. Do you find this valuable? |
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IrishHitman |
7. RE: note to hitman
Jun 21 2009, 8:39 PM EDT
"We were ambushed by US forces about two to three hours out by foot,” I stated as Freya entered the room, “We have about ten KIA and another twenty MIA, possibly captured.”Edit it then. Do you find this valuable? |
DevilNuts |
8. RE: note to hitman
Jun 21 2009, 8:42 PM EDT
I was unaware there was an Irish language. Doesn't everyone speak English there? Do you find this valuable? |
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John_234 |
9. RE: note to hitman
Jun 21 2009, 8:44 PM EDT
"I was unaware there was an Irish language. Doesn't everyone speak English there?I believe there is an old language, but the author was probably trying to say they had an Irish accent without sounding awkward. Do you find this valuable? |
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DevilNuts |
10. RE: note to hitman
Jun 21 2009, 9:36 PM EDT
Well you said it, and it didn't seem awkward at all. Imagine that. Do you find this valuable? |
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John_234 |
11. RE: note to hitman
Jun 21 2009, 9:38 PM EDT
"Well you said it, and it didn't seem awkward at all.lol What I mean is that in the third person, somewhat detail lacking style the post was written in, remarking that the soldier had an Irish accent would've been a bit out of place. I couldn't decide how to edit that myself, so I left it as it was originally. Do you find this valuable? |
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DevilNuts |
12. RE: note to hitman
Jun 21 2009, 9:41 PM EDT
"You are far kinder than I. Do you find this valuable? |
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John_234 |
13. RE: note to hitman
Jun 21 2009, 9:44 PM EDT
"You are far kinder than I. "heh :) Do you find this valuable? |
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lordreven6 |
14. RE: note to hitman
Jun 21 2009, 9:47 PM EDT
well as you just demonstrated not everyone knows about Gaelic.Gaelic is the irish language, and all signs in ireland are required to be in both english and Gaelic. so yes, irish speak english, but they also speak and read Gaelic(irish) Do you find this valuable? |
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DevilNuts |
15. RE: note to hitman
Jun 21 2009, 9:50 PM EDT
I am well aware of Gaelic as both a spoken and written language. I am also aware that it is not called "Irish."
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lordreven6 |
16. RE: note to hitman
Jun 21 2009, 9:50 PM EDT
"Tom has circled the base to find a way in, hence the week's travelling.aaa i see. but still olli seems to have just gotten there, because the fact tom tells him news that happened a week ago. so no problems there. and i didnt want to edit without your perm(thats why i didnt mention anyones characters in my addon) Do you find this valuable? |
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lordreven6 |
17. RE: note to hitman
Jun 21 2009, 9:51 PM EDT
not everyone knows that, so i wrote it in the recap as such(its a common mistake, but its how a lot of people understand it)
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DevilNuts |
18. RE: note to hitman
Jun 21 2009, 9:53 PM EDT
No, it's really not. And you're not going to sell me that it is, because I know that it is not. Where the F is IrishHitman at, so he can squash this nonsense? Do you find this valuable? |
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IrishHitman |
19. RE: note to hitman
Jun 21 2009, 10:28 PM EDT
| Post edited: Jun 21 2009, 10:34 PM EDT
Irish is a language taught to every schoolchild in the Republic of Ireland.It is the first official language of the Irish Republic and the Irish military uses it often as well. Gaelic is another word for it, but it isn't strictly correct as Scots Gaelic and Ulster-Scots fall into the Gaelic category as well. Irish in Irish is "Gaelige" Do you find this valuable? |
