"Given that zombies don't exist, I find it difficult to see how you can assert any of this."

"Not since Christmas of '07.

...Idiot should know not to come into people's houses in the middle of the night. Though I guess he's lucky my dad doesn't have any speedloaders..."

"A quick and brief study on Leprechaun (plural of Leprechaun)

A few simple things:
1. Leprechauns are always male.
2. The pot of gold every leprechaun possesses totals 1 coin for each year of their life and they are known to have very long lives.
3. Once you spot a leprechaun he can’t escape unless you take your eyes off of him.
4. Most leprechauns are only about 2 feet tall, which is why it’s so easy for them to avoid being seen.
5. Leprechauns will hide their pot of gold at the end of a rainbow, but since they are so crafty they’re constantly moving it to a new rainbow. That’s why you won’t always find a pot of gold at the end of every rainbow."

"A few simple things:
1. When you become one of the Infected, your eyesight dulls and becomes blurry, and your sense of smell sharpens exceedingly. Zombi can often locate humans by smell.
2. Though no zombie has any actual memory of its past, it will be compelled to journey to places where it used to go in its lifetime, i.e. grocery store, work etc.
3. Though zombi stumble because their flesh- and senses- are somewhat rotted, they should be only slightly slower than humans.
4. Zombi do in fact eat brains only , because of their lack of them. They somehow long to recover the brain matter. Also, they will not eat the brains until the bitten person turns into a zombie and joins them. They will then devour the brains, and the fresh zombie will search for humans to devour."

"But but... what have I been believing in these past few years? My life... is so meaningless

But thankfully it has meaning again since I know everything I need about zombies from this expert.

But good paranoid_vampire, you make it sound like that the zombie eats the brains of the newly made zombie. Surely this could not be true because if it was it would kill said zombie, and no zombies would ever live/be undead!"